Open Arms Blog

How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Are Pregnant

Telling your boyfriend you're pregnant, especially if you're a teen or still in college, can feel tricky. If the relationship isn't serious, or you aren't sure how he'll respond, this might add even more pressure on you. But ultimately, keeping it a secret isn't good for a healthy relationship or your future together, if you see that as a possibility.
How to Tell Your Boyfriend You Are Pregnant

Here are some tips to make it easier to tell your boyfriend you're pregnant.

Pick a good time

You want to choose a time to tell him when you both will be able to talk about it thoroughly and uninterrupted. Right before you're going to hang out with friends, for example, may not be the best time to tell him. Instead, pick a time when the two of you can be alone and where he can process the information. Keep in mind he might need time to process alone before he's ready to talk about it with you or anyone else.

Anticipate his questions

Try to think ahead to what questions he might have and prepare some responses in your mind to make the conversation more helpful for both of you. He'll likely want to know how far along you are, what you'd like to do about the pregnancy, if you're anticipating him staying involved, etc. Think through how you feel about the pregnancy and envision what your future would look like if you choose to parent, make an adoption plan, or have an abortion.

Give him time to process

What he says in the moment may not reflect how he actually feels. He may initially speak out of fear, uncertainty or anger, but after having time to think and adjust to this new reality, he may be better able to discuss it more thoughtfully. If he's not ready to talk about it when you share your pregnancy news with him, ask him when he'd like to talk again. This will give him time but also put a definitive date on the calendar so you both know it's important to talk again.

Don't let him pressure you

Making a decision based on pressure can lead to regret.  Ultimately, the decision is yours, though if you both can make the decision together, that will be ideal for you both. If he threatens to break up with you or gives you an ultimatum, you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with him anyway. On the other hand, if he offers to support you and help with decisions about the future and your pregnancy, he's demonstrating he genuinely cares about you.

This news can be hard to share, but in a good and healthy relationship, it's important to let your boyfriend know as soon as you can. The decision you make impacts both of you.

If you need help or want to talk with someone before you tell your boyfriend, our staff members are available to meet with you and would be happy to help you prepare for this important conversation. The Open Arms Pregnancy Clinic also has men on staff who are able to help your boyfriend with his questions and concerns.  Please contact us today.  We are here to help.

 

Photo Credit:  Photo by Djim Loic on Unsplash

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