There are many things to consider when making a pregnancy decision, including understanding all of your options. If you aren't sure you are prepared to be a parent, have you considered providing parents for your baby? Here are five commonly asked questions expectant mothers ask about adoption with answers and resources that can empower you to make a decision for both you and your child.
- How could I ever give up my baby for adoption?
Adoption is not giving up your child—it is giving to your child the life you truly want for him or for her. If you are not ready to be a parent and are not able to provide the kind of life you would want for your baby, you can still provide for him or her through adoption.
- Can I choose the family for my baby?
Yes! You can pick a family for your child and create a plan that has your child's best interests at heart. Most adoption agencies have many prospective adoptive couples, all of which must meet standards set by the agency and the state where they live. Families are thoroughly assessed before being approved for adoption and are visited by an adoption specialist after placement to ensure that your child will be well taken care of.
- How much contact will I have with my baby after the birth and after adoption?
After the birth, you can spend as much time with your baby at the hospital as you choose. When making your adoption plan, you can decide how much contact you want to have with your child. There are three types of adoption to consider: open adoption, semi-open adoption, and confidential adoption.
Open adoption is the option that allows you to get to know the adoptive parents and have ongoing direct contact with them. With this option, you may receive phone calls, pictures, letters, and schedule visits with your baby and his or her adoptive family.
Semi-open adoption is the option that allows you to choose the parents for your baby, but identifying information is not exchanged. You may receive letters and pictures from your baby's adoptive family through the agency you choose to plan with.
Confidential adoption is the option that protects your identity before, during, and after the adoption is complete. This is an option for you if you would like to remain completely anonymous.
- Can I get help with medical and living expenses while I'm making an adoption plan?
Assistance with pregnancy-related expenses is available through many adoption agencies so that there is no expense to you for creating an adoption plan.
- How can I be sure my baby will end up in a good home?
Adoptive parents are closely screened and evaluated through a lengthy process before being eligible to adopt a child. The adoption type you choose determines how much information you will receive about the potential family for your baby, and how involved you will be in your child's life. (For example, if you choose an adoption plan with some openness, you can get to know the couple more before making your final decision.) Remember, you remain in control throughout the adoption process.
Interested to learn more? Here are some next steps:
- Visit some other helpful websites to help you feel knowledgeable and confident in discerning whether adoption is the best option for you:
- Connect with an adoption agency in your area. Local adoption agencies will be able to answer specific questions you may have and provide the support you will need to make a successful plan for you and your baby. You can find an adoption agency near you by visiting http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/who-we-are/members
- Visit us! Open Arms is always here for you to talk about your options. If you would like to come in to meet with one of our case managers to discuss what to do next in a comfortable and confidential setting, please feel free to call or text us as 818-626-9400. We would love to meet with you.
"10 Questions Expectant Mothers Ask About Adoption." Pregnant, Now What? Discussion Guide, 2014, pp. 14–14.
Julie Stobbe. I Might Consider Adoption If...I Might Consider Adoption If..., Focus on the Family, 2012.
Bethany. Ten Questions Expectant Mothers Ask About Adoption. Ten Questions Expectant Mothers Ask About Adoption, Bethany, 2015.
"What About Adoption?" Before You Decide, Care Net, 2016, pp. 28–31.